Barbed at the Barber

Can't died in the battle of Try...this is what i wanted to be written on my epitaph.....not knowing that it was about to be rewritten.
"Haircut"...has been a domain as mercurial for me as...The Holy Grail. As i walk down my memory lane I am haunted by all those encounters with all those barbers that have left me with a foggy pulchritude of what i should have been.
And so when i saw the careen trailer of the upcoming flick "Omkara"...i was blown over by the hair style of Mr. Saif Ali Khan. I decided to shed my suave pretence for a more plebeian one...and made my way to the most famous (alas!!) barber in the vicinity.
The ambiance of the shop scattered with a plethora of hair scrapping equipment inspired geniality. I recalled all my experience from my previous encounters and sat down determined to make history. The cool ac was well complimented with Channel V flicks on the idiot box. As i took my position on what i call the "shaving chair"...things started to go wrong....but my oblivion to them was my, to be written, debacle. The idiot box changed mood, to show.....a great movie...by none other than apna Mithun Da....kya saala apun bole to...
But i was determined, and on being interrogated on the type of haircut i wanted...i replied tersely and cautiously, "Short please!!”
The young barber seemed to be a starting entrepreneur and i sought of liked his corporeal approach. He eased me into the chair like a Pied Piper. So i just stared into the idiot box trying to figure out all the Matrix Remade. It was at this time that the wheel turned around. The Matrix started downloading me and i soon found myself falling into the valley of slumber and...dearth of defeat. Mithun was enticing me into lechery....what happened next i don't remember...but what i do remember is what i want to forget! I was shoved awake by the barber magnate with an impeccable smile of a victorious artist.”Sahaab ho gaya!!"....and believe me.....everything had happened....The battle of Try was lost.....and the grand winner was the ugly and proletarian person staring at me through the mirror...who...i ghastly realized was my own ghost!!
I had been thrown from pedigree of a Casanova to that of a pitiable bard....my hair were right out from the book of the porcupine hairstyle. Finally my heroics had been cut out and shaved by a Mighty Barber and Can’t didn’t die in the Battle of Try!!